Is the Lord Speaking to you?

Do you ever feel like God is talking to you so loudly, but you just don't know what he means?   I felt that way yesterday.  I haven't talked about about fostering in awhile.  I have really just  been highlighting the good times around here, as for now, I feel as if I always have to put my best foot forward.  I can't talk about fostering, or FASD, or being tired, or any of my true feelings.  I have felt very cautious lately, as some things have happened that have made me that way.  I have tried to sort these events out in my mind, and wonder if I do really need to be that cautious, or if it is just the devil trying to keep me from sharing our story, or encouraging others.  I can turn to many scriptures that talks about that, and I am trying to sort it all out in my mind.  I feel like I should still continue to share my thoughts and feelings on fostercare.  Share our struggles right along with the joys.  Talk about FAS, raise awareness.  I think I have lost a lot of readers by changing my blog url, but I just don't know if I have lost the readers that have caused me trouble :)

For today though, I just want to tell you what I am thinking about.  Signs...all over the place.  Signs I can't ignore.  We have closed our home as foster parents to take a break, and also b/c we are full.  Sq foot wise, we are full.  There are options for that though, but for now, we are full.  We do need a break, it has been a busy 2 years.  We are ready to just be a family, with nobody in our business, not having to answer to anyone for how we live.  BUT....just yesterday, I know God was talking to me, telling me I am not done, there is more for me to do in this journey.

I turned on Dr. Phil.  I NEVER watch Dr. Phil.  I never even sit down at that time of day, but I wasn't feeling well, and the kids were all playing, so I turned it on.  He was talking about foster care.  He was talking about how important it is for these children to have permanence.  How the problem needs to be stopped when the kids are little, not letting them age out of the system.  Of course, I was crying, as I always am when anything on this subject comes up.  Next, I was looking in blogland, and came across a post about a girl in Ukraine that needs a home.   She is special needs.  Then I got an e-mail, about a need for a foster home for a 15 yr old girl with special needs.  She will have to go to a group home if there is no family.  Her mother died, and she has no bio family to care for her...this is sadly looking like it could mean a lifetime of institution for her.   Then, a commercial for "A Place Called Home" came on the news...that is the segment where channel 11 news features children in Arkansas available for adoption.  And then, last night I was scrolling through the instant Netflix movies, and came across a documentary that was just added, about a single mom that has adopted 11 special needs children.   Seriously, all this in one day.  My heart is so heavy, and I am trying to sort it all out, and without even making a big deal about it, my husband today has been talking about it too.  Not now, but for the future.  Wow.  

I have a heart gallery photoshoot coming up next weekend.  We have over 100 children, just for Pulaski County that we need to photograph, that are waiting to be adopted.  Do you hear that?  100 children, in one county, in one state, in one country....it is so overwhelming to think of it that way.   DHS just received reward money for the state of Arkansas for increasing its adoptions by 30 % in a year's time.  Wow!  That is great.