God's plan....all along

I just smile everytime I look at this photo.  I took this photo the very first night he slept in our home.  He was 6 weeks old.   I wrote a blog post that said, "he was SO worth the wait".    Oh he was.  We got so frustrated waiting for our home to open.  We were finished with everything in February.  I inquired about a sibling group of 3, and the adoption specialist got someone to our home quickly to do a homestudy for us.  In the meantime, we decided that was just too much for us to take on at once, and decided against that.  After a few minutes of her talking to us, we realized that she was asking us questions about adoption, and once we figured it out, she left without finishing our homestudy b/c we needed a foster one, and not an adoption one.  Then my fingerprints came back and had to redone.  Then they changed the paperwork, and we had to redo all our paperwork again in May. Then they changed it to where the homestudy was for either adoption or foster.  Really?  Just 4 months earlier, when we had someone in our home to do our homestudy, it wasn't o.k.   We kept waiting for our homestudy...and waiting, and waiting.  We were so frustrated, we honestly almost just stopped the whole journey.  But, we perservered. 

I remember when I first heard about Z.  I was staying the weekend at my mom's, and a foster mom friend of mine sent an e-mail, and in it she said she was holding a 4 week old baby, that she was keeping for just a few days until they could find a new home for him. I can picture myself sitting there, late at night at her computer, reading that e-mail, and getting excited for my friend.   I e-mailed back saying "I wish I could be holding a 4 week old baby".  We still hadn't had our homstudy at that time.  She e-mailed back and said, "oh, it would be great if you could get this baby, his name would even fit perfect with your other children's names...(they are all bible names).  But, we still hadn't had our homestudy, and she found another family that was suppose to take him in a few days.   Meanwhile, my friend got a call to take in another little boy just for the weekend.   When she got to the DHS office, there were 2 little boys, and then she found out there was a sister as well.  So, she said she would keep Z a few more days, and called the lady that was suppose to take him to see if she would take the sibling group instead since she didn't already have any children.  (ironically, this other family had been interested in adopting the same 3 children we had first been looking at, so that is how she knew they would probably take those children in).  

My friend then broke her foot.  Did I mention that she already had a 1 yr old foster, an adopted 5 yr old and 4 bio teenage children?  YES, she is superwoman, one of the greatest women I know!  So, she broke her foot, and still had Z, but then we really started talking about maybe, if they could get my homestudy done, then we could take in Z.  They got our homestudy done and within a week our home was open, and ready for all that sweetness!   I knew at that moment, God had his hand in all this.

I prayed for him for months before he came to me.  I had prayed for years before that to somehow be able to have more children.  When I realized that my desire was to foster and adopt, I prayed for the Lord to show my husband that desire as well.  This little boy, may have come into this world under hard circumstances, but he was the answer to so many of my prayers.   He was wanted so badly by me.  The moment I held him, I knew he was my son.  I knew this was the boy I had prayed for, longed for, for so many years.   I remember laying him in his bed, and just walking by so many times, just staring at him, thinking he was one of the most beautiful babies I had ever seen.  I remember actually not minding getting up with him at night, b/c I was so in love, so grateful to have another chance to take care of a baby.   He was and still is 100% adored by everyone in this family. 

Oh, I look at this picture, and I just want to scoop him up and cuddle him...the time has just flown by.  I can't believe he is 2 now.  I still scoop him up and cuddle him, and kiss him, but now he kisses me back, hugs everyone in our family and says "night night".    He hugs and loves on his brother, he holds my hand.   Oh what a precious, precious gift. 

I have much more to tell, but that will have to wait for my next post....got lots of  kiddos asking me to watch a movie!